“To live is to be musical, starting with the blood dancing in your veins. Everything living has a rhythm. Do you feel your music?”
― Michael Jackson
I come from a musical family- my Dad is one of the best jazz trumpet musicians I have ever heard, my Mom grew up singing and passed her gift of hearing harmony down to me. As a child I sat under the feet of my uncles and cousins as they played their guitars and sang together. I was mesmerized by the fact they just knew what to do without sheet music and that they were able to do it all together, each complimenting the other with their distinct harmonies and notes being played. I can not neglect to mention one of my most beloved childhood memories, hearing my PawPaw not only bring the Word every Sunday morning, but also lead his congregation in singing from the Baptist Hymnal. The last few years I have seen my own four children learn of their musical ability, with my oldest wanting to take after her Papa and learn to play the trumpet so well, and my middle two discovering their tremendous talent as singers, then musicians, then songwriters, and the baby of the family who from day 1 has had a passion for creating music with empty coffee cans and pots and pans on the living room floor. I no doubt have a rich, colorful legacy of a love of music and I am now convinced that love also includes a legacy of creating sounds that will be used as a weapon of warfare for future generations.
However, One thing I have learned over the last year is that even though I had this foundation and understanding of music, it apparently moves me in a way I had yet to understand. Exactly a year ago, I learned I would be in for the literal fight of my life after I was diagnosed with Stage 3c breast cancer at the age of 40. It is not too often that I am at a loss for words, but this was a season in my life where just finding my voice to speak was much of the time too much effort. It was as if I could not find the strength to survive and communicate where I was at and who I was at the same time, so I feel like much of my time over the last year has been in silence. This was hard for me because early last year I felt like I was finally coming to the place where I belonged, a place where I found my voice and I was able to use it with wisdom. This was a great debate between God and myself over the last year, but at one point He reminded me:
A prophet comes out of the cave mouth first.
-Jennifer Eivaz
This last year has definitely been my Elijah Moment. In the Bible, the prophet Elijah was positioned to use his voice to prophecy an upcoming drought that was being sent to deal with the wicked of his generation. After he used his words in obedience, God told him to go to a cave and hide himself. I now realize that God also positioned me to be with the right people at the right place at the right time, but when I found my voice, I was sent to the proverbial cave. During his time in the cave, Elijah was prepared by God for what He was going to do next. When Elijah finally came out of the cave, he engaged in a spiritual warfare with King Ahab to get rid of the false gods that were ruining his generation. There was a challenge made between the prophets of Baal and Asherah to see whose (G)god would provide the fire for the sacrifice given by their respective prophets. The prophets of the false gods were not able to make anything happen, but in true-to-God fashion, a fire came down from the heavens for the sacrifice Elijah had prepared.
I have been waiting, oftentimes not-so-patiently, to come out of the cave I found myself in during treatment and recovery. Just in the last few months, I have been moved out of the cave and back in to the sunlight but it has taken me a little while to adjust to the light. But, here I am. Since I have been out of the cave, I have fought relentless spiritual warfare that has caused me to grow silent once again in doing what I know God has T-O-L-D me to do. Which leads us to the writing of this blog. One time God told me that my words carried weight. I have been somewhat running from that for years, using all the lies said about me, the unwise mistakes I have made, and the difficulties I have in relationships with people to hide behind. Not anymore.
So, what does Elijah, caves, and spiritual warfare have to do with Michael Jackson quotes and talking about a legacy of music? Over the last year, music has been the way God has spoken to me, whether outright or in confirmation of something else He already said. It has been the only way I found the strength to contend in this spiritual battle I have been in, because it has been not only a health battle but a battle with the unforseen to rob me of my very life. When I was too sick, too weak, and too scared to go to war, I had music to fight for me. Sometimes, the source of that music was not what I would expect it to be, but is that not how God works? So, in obedience to what I am supposed to do after coming out of my cave, I will be doing a series on my blog about specific songs, my war songs so-to-speak, and what was revealed to me through those songs. So, buckle up. This girl has found her voice again.
Life Beyond the Noise 